It is a crazy, weird world, but I love it...

It has been a while since I last wrote here, but it is about time to do so. Wow, I was writing a lot while back, 38 posts, with 26 published containing loads of strange text, starting in 2009, good ol´ days. It is in a way interesting to read all of what I have been thinking and compare past me to who I am now. I remember when I started writing here I could not believe how people can be miserable and unhappy, now one of the last posts was where I was talking about that my grandfather shot himself. That is something that I did not see coming. There have been ups and downs, and mostly ups lately. I have become more and more happy about the way I am, learning how to be myself.

It is quite interesting that there is that many of you in you. People are saying that you have to be you and I think I haven´t understood it very well. It is not about you interacting with others, but doing what you like and living the way you want to. People always act differently with different people. One of the reasons for this is people aren´t the same and to communicate you need to find a common ground. Not only what you are discussing about, but also the way you are communicating. This is to create rapport (), by matching other peoples posture, tone of the voice, even accent which I have noticed on myself and others. Some people do that automatically, which seems to be somewhat true for me, some need to put more attention to it. So in the end you aren´t totally you, you are a copycat. But then again all the people are connected to each other and in the micro-world sense we are all basically the same, if to put it like that we are all just energy.

I have been watching again movies about quantum physics and been rediscovering the correlation between thinking and the world around us. How just having an observer changes the results of the experiments. It´s not just the Schrodinger´s cat, it is more than that. Basically by just observing you can change the way how electrons act. So one person can actually change the way how the world is around him-/herself, by just being there and I do totally believe that, think about what will happen if you truly put yourself in this world, endless opportunity's. It is not that much to do with quantum physics, but if a person has some kind of obsession, fear or something like that, this person starts seeing it all around and this starts controlling your life. If you are afraid of getting stuck, settling down, kind of like I am, you are always seeing how people are trying to get you stay put, how every person you meet is going to try to make you stay if you get too close. Then the energy you put out is making everyone to stay away from you whom ever you meet. The same applies to everything.

This is my way of escaping everything, just move to another place and leave everything and everyone behind. That is what I tend to do. I even go this far that I burn all the bridges behind me, so I couldn´t go back to the way things were before. Today I was watching this series about different tabus and it was talking about people with different identity's. I could actually relate to some of it as every time you go to new place, specially to new country you start again, making a new impression to everyone. So you could actually be anyone else you would want to, luckily I do not go this far, but in some ways I am still bit different in every place I am, that has been my way of find the person I really am and I am getting there. Then again every place has its own energy and that also effects the people who are there, so that is also one of the reasons for being different.

What I am trying to say is that you create your own world. You can be who ever you want and be where ever you want to be, if you want it enough and get your mentality right for it. Just try to analyze yourself and your thoughts to see where you can improve. If you have negative thought and get negative feelings, change things, think positive. Not always easy to do, but everything is possible. Some positive energy to future me and maybe someone who will read this.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought" BUDDHA